


Same Mistakes

by Roosterteef2015



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF
Genre: F/M, Implied/Referenced Cheating, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-22
Updated: 2018-04-22
Packaged: 2019-04-26 10:09:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,572
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14399925
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Roosterteef2015/pseuds/Roosterteef2015
Summary: Watching Michael marry Lindsay was one of the hardest things Gavin has ever had to do. But he somehow managed to do it and moved on with Meg Turney. One year after Michael and Lindsay got married, Gavin receives a voicemail which sends him spiralling as he wonders if he should stay with Meg or consider getting back with Michael.





	Same Mistakes

**Author's Note:**

> Obviously this is not real. Also I don’t condone cheating in any way it’s the worst thing you can do to someone. 
> 
> Finally, I’m playing fast and loose with timelines here - so Gavin doesn’t meet Meg until after Michael and Lindsay are married.

When he thought about it, he really should have seen it ending this way. He knew what he was getting himself into and he still dove in head first like a goddamned idiot. Michael was already with Lindsay when it started; just a little bit on the side when they were drunk, or horny or alone together, but it soon got out of hand and was becoming an all too regular thing. 

At first, it was like all new relationships, exciting, thrilling and a rush, but since this was their dirty little secret it had that extra little something. The fact that they were two seemingly straight males only added to that. It was all secret smiles, whispers and fleeting touches, practiced to be casual. Kisses hidden from view and meaningless promises breathed from panting mouths. Gavin often joked about it on camera, but he actually was trying his best to make him choose him, love him, marry him, but it was a waste of breath and a useless pipe dream that only caused him more heartache. 

In the lead up to their wedding they met even more, a silent "fuck you" to their future together, in Gavin’s opinion. An attempt to show Michael what he would be missing because although clearly his moral compass was skewed, Gavin wouldn't fool around with someone who was married. He wouldn't cross that line. He already hated himself for what they had already done to Lindsay but it was much too late to cry over that now. Most of the time they were even more hurried, a quick fuck to get it out of their system so he could crawl back to her in their lovely home together and Gavin would leave his lover to return to his home, alone, and steeped in regret. Every time was the last time to him but he just couldn't resist. He always knew how to get Gavin back, hook, line and sinker. A manipulator. 

The last time they fucked was the night before the wedding. One last hurrah before they broke it off for good, but something shifted. Something was different. It wasn't the rough, hard fucking they'd been doing since the beginning, it was gentle, caressing and passionate. Like they loved each other. It made it so much harder to let him go. Gavin clung to him for dear life and somehow talked him into spending the night, his last night, in his bed. Clearly, he was a masochist, as having to watch his lover leave him for the last time to go marry someone else was one of the hardest things he ever had to do. He begged and pleaded for Michael to call it off, but he wouldn't cry. He was too proud for that, even still. But he never relented, and with one last lingering kiss, Michael, his lover, walked out of Gavin's life, and he had to pretend as though they had never been closer than best friends. 

Everything was harder after that. It was impossible to be fine in Let's Plays when every time he glanced at Michael he could see that black wedding band mocking him. Or having to watch Lindsay get to fawn all over her husband or to hear them talk about their domestic life made him go crazy with jealousy and hatred. But he learned how to deal with his anger and to overcome it, for the sake of his own health.

Then he met Meg and for the first time he saw the light at the end of the tunnel. He saw a future with this woman that came in, fought for his attention and just enveloped him. She was everything he needed but never thought to look for and he was finally happy for the first time in months. They became the picture of domesticity too, with their beautiful house with its white picket fence, and their cat and their dog. He was at peace, in a healthy, stable and loving relationship. So obviously that's when it all went to shit. 

The day before the Jones' one year anniversary, he received a voicemail from Michael. He sounded drunk. In fact, he seemed to be at that level of drunk where Michael gets honest, and that honesty normally leads to a fight or a breakdown. He didn't want to hear either. The logical part of his brain told him to just hang up the phone, delete the message and pretend like nothing had happened. God knows he's good at pretending. But again, he's a masochist, so he listened. 

"Hey, boi. It's me. I'm at our bar, just having a drink. Or well, a few drinks. I was gonna ask you to join me at work, but you're probably busy with ... Whatever." 

Over the line, he heard Michael scoff, and it aggravated Gavin. How dare he act like some jealous boyfriend now. A year down the line. How dare he be angry at Gavin for trying to move on and find his own happiness. 

"I miss you boi. We used to be so inseparable, and now I don't see you outside work. We should go for bevs! Or swimmies! I could wear those tiny little trunks you used to love to see me in..." Michael's voice trailed off, quiet and sad, and he could hear brief hiccups over the phone. "It's our anniversary, you know. Tonight." And at first, Gavin was confused, because it's not their anniversary til tomorrow, but then, the penny dropped. He means their last night together. Gavin's breath hitched and he still stands, frozen in place, fingers clutching the phone to his ear. "Not that most people probably wouldn't call their breakup an anniversary date. Then again, we weren't most people. What we had was special, right Gavin? You felt it too, didn't you? You were always so much smarter than me, you should have known better than to let someone like me ruin you. You were too beautiful and too pure for someone like me to touch. And that's why I couldn't leave her for you. Deep down I knew you deserved better. And now you've got it. And I am so happy for you boi. I am. But I can't help but think what would have happened if I had just called it quits with Lindsay like you asked me to. She probably would have been happier, she knows I am not the man she fell in love with anymore. I can feel her pulling away and I don't even care. I don't care about anything without you anymore." 

Gavin didn't know whether to feel sad or relieved when the line went dead, but he didn't have too much time to fixate on it as another voicemail message came through. With shaking fingers he dialed the number again and tried to mentally prepare himself for what he would have to listen to. 

"I felt like such a piece of shit after we got married. And not even because of what I was doing to her, but because of what I did to you. I could see how much you were hurting, and I asked Geoff to keep an eye on you. You were broken, depressed and looked to be seconds away from dying at any given moment. But look at you now, Gavvers. You're tippy toppers! You've got Meg fucking Turney to cuddle up to at night. But you know what, Gavvy? I bet she doesn't make you as hot under the collar as I did. I bet one look and a whisper couldn't get you hard in seconds, like with me. I bet you haven't come as hard as that in months. I know because I haven't since then either. It's just not the same, is it. They always said it would be better, having sex with the person you loved and they were right, weren't they boi? You can deny it now if you want but I know we were in love. Even before it got complicated and seedy, I think we were always in love." He could hear Michael order another 3 or 4 shots of something before taking one after the other, before returning to the phone. 

"I dialed your number every night since the night I got married. Every single goddamn fucking night, and every night I was too much of a pathetic chicken shit asshole to call you. But clearly you've moved on, and I respect that. I hope you’re happy, because you deserve it, Gav. You deserve the whole world and I just fucked up my chance to give it to you. But I can say it now, not that it makes up for anything. I loved you, Gavin.  
I still love you now. I'm sorry I couldn't say it when you needed it most but that's just me all over... I think I'm gonna get divorced you know. I just ruin everything I touch so it's probably good you don't let me touch you at all anymore. No hugs, or pats on the back or nothing. It hurt, at first, seeing you flinch away from me, but now I understand. I broke you, hurt you so much and you didn't deserve it. But only now I realize how much I hurt me too. I'm gonna tell Lindsay about us too. It's time to fess up, boi. She deserves to know the truth and I'll ask her to be conscientious of you and your feelings, and she probably will, cuz she is an angel. But she got to me too late, my heart was already taken by this goofy Brit who made up words. God Gavin, I am so sorry things got so fucked up. I'll probably regret these in the morning but right now it feels like the weight of the world has been lifted and I’m sorry I've just been talking about myself but you know me. Maybe we could meet up sometime, for old times sake?" 

He had heard more than enough. How did Michael have that way of making everything seem like it had just happened, as though it hadn't been a long year. So much had been said he was finding it difficult to find one thing to focus on. Michael loved him. Michael was in love with him and talking about leaving his wife. Gavin had to see him. 

He had his coat on and was calling a cab to take them to their favourite bar. It was far enough away from Michael's apartment and work that they never really ran the risk of being caught, and Gavin had a 30 minute car ride to overthink everything that was about to happen. What was his endgame here? Leaving Meg to be with Michael? Would they be out in the open or still, hiding their relationship in the shadows from their friends and colleagues. What would happen to Meg and Lindsay? 

Suddenly the cab pulled up at his destination, and Gavin just about managed to pay the driver with sweaty shaking hands. He had half a mind to ask the cab to take him back home, but he resolved himself to see Michael, so he got out, took a deep breath and entered the bar. Fortunately for him it wasn't crowded that night and he spotted Michael almost immediately, and he didn't look great. He was half lying over the table he was sat at, hands curled around his drink, his face contorted into the most miserable look he'd seen on the man. 

Gavin ordered himself a beer and a water for Michael before sitting down opposite Michael. He pushed the water towards him before Michael could even react to his presence in his drunk state. 

"Gavvy! You're here. Why are you here? How did you know I was here?" He asked, confusion flitting over his features. So he didn't remember calling him then. Great. 

"You left me some messages Michael, remember? You said we shout meet up, so I came. We need to talk but you're clearly not in the right state of mind for that right now. Drink your water and we can go back to my house, I doubt Lindsay would want to see you like this." 

Michael scoffed and rolled his eyes, dramatically, probably due to how drunk he was. "What about Turney? I don't think she would want you bringing me home in the middle of the night, might give off the wrong impression? Or maybe the right impression, I don't know." 

"Meg, is in LA with Ashley right now, remember? She's not home. Drink your damn water and let's go." Guilt wracked Gavin's mind. He was going behind his girlfriend’s back with his ex, and what made it even worse was that she didn't even know about Michael, so she wouldn't even suspect a thing. This would just look as innocent as two friends meeting up for a drink and being too drunk to go home separately. He was a terrible person and he repeated in his head that nothing was going to happen, he would take Michael and put him in a spare bedroom to sleep off the ridiculous amount of alcohol in his system. 

He watched as Michael sank the pint of water in one huge gulp before he seemed to regret it, recoiling back in fear and slapping both hands over his mouth. 'Great. Just bloody perfect. Well, maybe if he bokes now he'll sober up a bit,' thought Gavin, hoping and praying that he was right. 

Suddenly Michael jumped up and bolted towards the bathrooms, and Gavin rolled his eyes and pulled out his phone to keep him busy in the meantime. About fifteen minutes later Michael emerged, red faced and on shaking legs, looking thoroughly worse for wear. He watched as Gavin got up and put an arm around his shoulders, ushering him out of the bar and called for an uber. 

Michael was swaying against Gavin and going in and out of sleep, even while standing, so it only felt like a few minutes before he was being belted into a car. He let his eyes slip shut and enjoyed the small nap he got during their journey to Gavin's house. 

Gavin had calmed down somewhat since Michael hadn't mentioned any of the things he'd said on the voicemail. He didn't want to have a huge argument, or think about their past together. It had taken him so long to get over Michael the first time around, he wasn't so sure he could do it again. He was in a good place with Meg. He couldn't risk ruining that to be Michael's bit on the side. 

The car journey was filled with a tense, awkward introspective silence that was rare from the two men. The silence continued from when they made it to Gavin's house until they were in the kitchen and clutching two coffees. Michael had sobered up somewhat, due to the vomiting, nap and possibly the small sips of coffee he'd had, and he was beginning to look embarrassed. 

"Look, Gavin. I'm sorry, okay. I know I shouldn't have called. Its not fair to you, or Meg, or Lindsay even. I don't know why I let this get so fucked up. I just miss you so much. Even just as a best friend. We were so close and then I let it all get out of control. And Lindsay is going to leave me. I can tell. She's pulling away from me bit by bit and I don't blame her, and I can't bring myself to fight for her because I know it was my fault to begin with." Michael was starting to fight off tears, rubbing his palms into his eyes roughly, and coughing to cover up his erratic breathing. 

"Michael..." Gavin started, reaching a hand out to him to settle his friend down. 

"No. Gavin. Don't. Don't touch me okay! I ruin everything I fucking touch. I should never have gotten with Lindsay. I always knew that something wasn't right, something was missing. You always had my heart, and she just couldn't get it no matter how hard she tried. It wasn't hers to keep. And I don't think we'll get back together when we break up Gavin. I know you've got it all and more with Meg. And what's more is she knows how lucky she is to have you, doesn't taken it for granted, like I did." 

Enough was enough for Gavin. He couldn't take any more of Michael's apologizing or his manipulating words, poisoning Gavin's mind. Not again. He dumped the remainder of his coffee down the sink and threw his mug down violently.

"Shut up Michael. Just shut up okay? You don't get to come in here one year later and say the things I begged you to tell me. I don't care if you always loved me. I don't care because I don't love you anymore. You broke my heart and got to walk away and play happy families while I tried to pick myself up and get over the fact I had to watch the love of my life marry someone else. So don't come now with your perfect words. I don't want to hear them now. It's too late." He curled his arms around himself as a defense mechanism and waited for the fallout from his outburst.

"Yeah, you're clearly broken." Michael sneered, sarcasm dripping off every word. "Look around you Gavin, you've got the house and the perfect gorgeous model girlfriend. It doesn't look like you broke your heart for too long. You got over me damn quick. Always the victim. Fuck you Gavin." He banged his fist against the counter he was sat at, furious at how Gavin spoke to him. "Do you really think I don't know it's too little too late? Come on Gav. I didn't expect anything from you tonight. I didn't even expect to hear from you. I thought you would just ignore me like usual. I just had to get those thoughts off my chest before they smothered me. I'm done talking about this now. I'm gonna go to bed. I'll leave first thing tomorrow." He kept his head bent low to avoid Gavin's gaze as he stumbled from the kitchen to the guest bedroom furthest away from Gavin's master. They would both benefit from the privacy that night. 

After he heard Michael's door shut Gavin finally let out the breath he'd been holding. How did they become these fucked up people? They loved each other once, as best friends, as colleagues, as lovers. Now they could barely stand to look at each other, without dragging back up the sad bitter memories of their awful breakup. Maybe it was because it didn't end suddenly, so they had no closure? But Gavin doubted that, greatly. They both let what they wanted slip through their fingers and now they were paying the price. It was much too late for tears. 

Gavin eventually trudged his way to bed himself, and as he curled up alone he found himself wishing he still lived with Geoff and Griffon. He always felt safe, protected and loved at their house, and they always knew what to say to cheer him up or steer him in the right direction. They were the only people to know about him and Michael and although they made it clear they didn't approve, they always had his back and helped him pick up the thousands of pieces he'd been broken into. He wanted them to coddle him and tell him everything would be okay, because if they said it it had to be true. He also wished Meg was here, curled up into him for warmth in their bed. He always felt reassured when she was with him, she loved so openly and freely that you couldn't help but return it. She wore her heart on her sleeve and it was just a breath of fresh air for Gavin.

But although Gavin would never admit it, Michael was right. They just didn't have the same sexual chemistry and Michael and Gavin did. It was nice, but it lacked that something extra. It was just nice. Gavin had been spoiled with mind blowing, world changing, passionate sex and he did miss it. In fact, he craved it. But he would get over it. He wouldn't let himself be able to be hurt again. 

The next morning was awkward, to say the least. Gavin woke up at around 9am and lay in bed for as long as possible, straining his ears to try and hear if Michael was awake. Gavin had decided that if he could hear sounds of life downstairs he would hide in his bedroom until he could hear Michael leave. Not the most mature way of handling the situation, but he didn’t know how Michael would react to what had happened last night, especially not with the almighty hangover he must have. 

When he didn’t hear anything almost a full hour later and he was bored out of his mind, Gavin convinced himself that Michael must have already left. He was always an early riser, making sure to sneak out as early as possible any nights they got sloppy and ended up with him staying the night at the Ramsey’s. 

Gavin got himself out of bed, walked to their ensuite and turned on the shower as hot as he could stand it. He went through their endless supply of toiletries to try and find one particular shower gel. The one him and Michael both used to use after swimmy bevs at Michael’s place. Well, Michael used it all the time and Gavin loved smelling like Michael so he made sure to “forget” his own every time they went to swim at lunch or on the weekends. 

Gavin took a moment to wonder whether Michael still used the same shower gel. Although he sits next to Michael in the office, he purposefully doesn’t let himself to get too close to Michael. He keeps his distance as much as possible for his own sanity and it basically works. 

Once the steam in the shower and bathroom has built up considerably, Gavin opened the shower door and clambered in, shutting it behind him. He stood with his back to the spray and shut his eyes as the hot water cascaded down his skin, relieving some of the sore muscles and stress from the night before. 

Gavin thought about Meg working in LA with Ashley, thought about how much he missed her. Meg wouldn’t be back in Austin until late on Sunday night. The She was beautiful inside and out, funny, intelligent and just everything Gavin needed at one of the lowest points in his life. 

He remembered feeling worthless, used and dirty once Michael and Lindsay had gotten married. He saw how happy they were together and felt sick when he thought of how he actively tried to destroy that happiness. Lindsay was one of his closest friends and he tried to hurt her in one of the worst ways a person can be hurt and betrayed. 

But then Meg came along. Meg who demanded his attention and sought him out. Took him out on dates and made sure he didn’t just ghost her like everyone else. She was everything he needed to try and get back to being himself. He had lost himself somewhere along the way and she just breathed life back into him.

There’s no doubt about it - he is in love with Meg Turney and everything about her. He can picture the whole fairytale; them getting married, her, round with their baby waddling around the place and still being unrealistically sexy and beautiful as she does it, both of them surrounded by kids with her beautiful eyes and his nose, growing old together. 

At this point, it’s only a small sliver of him that still wants that with Michael. Don’t get him wrong, he still loves Michael with every fibre of his being, but he has buried that love somewhere deep inside himself. He’ll never let that back up to the surface. He won’t risk what he has and he won’t hurt Lindsay and Meg in that way. He won’t. 

Following his deep introspection into his feelings and thoughts and feeling sort of sad, Gavin turned off the shower and stepped out into the bathroom. He gagged a little at the change in temperature and humidity and started drying himself off with a towel. 

That’s when he heard it. The groaning sound of Michael joins waking up with possibly the “Worst Hangover of his Life”™. Gavin took a moment to hope that Michael had had the sense and foresight to take a waste bin over to the bed in case he had to throw up. 

He resigned himself to knowing that that was not the case when he heard the telltale sign of someone running towards the main bathroom, before slamming the door. 

Although Gavin had possibly the worst gag reflex known to man, he was accustomed to the sounds of Michael throwing up and they were mostly muffled through the walls and door of the bathroom. 

Once mostly dry, Gavin went back into his bedroom and pulled out some shorts and the first tee-shirt he could find. Of course, that shirt just had to be his “Team Nice Dynamite” shirt from years ago, so he decided to put that back and grab another one. He was automatically going for another red tee shirt when he realised it was his “Touch My Awesome Button” shirt and thought that was also inappropriate. He just grabbed his purple “People Like Grapes” shirt and threw it on before hearing the toilet flush.

Gavin silently walked past the bathroom and headed down to the kitchen to start on breakfast. He set up the coffee machine and turned it on, knowing that he was going to need an abnormal amount of caffeine to get through this day. 

He put a few slices bread in the toaster and grabbed a pot to make beans. He could make something a bit more difficult but he felt nauseous already just worrying about the conversation that would occur once Michael made it downstairs, so something basic would just have to do. 

Once his breakfast had been plated up, he sat down at their breakfast bar with his cup of black coffee. He picked at his food mostly, barely able to eat. Michael eventually padded into the kitchen and put his keys, wallet and phone on the counter, sighing deeply. 

“Listen, Gav, I just wanna apologise for last night. It was completely out of order and unfair of me to call you like that. I was wasted and feeling sad about our anniversary, but that’s no excuse. I’m married and you’re in a committed relationship with Meg.” Gavin flinched a bit when he mentioned Lindsay and Meg and started chugging his coffee. It seems like Michael wanted to get straight into it this morning. 

“I was just being a selfish fucking asshole and I needed to try and make myself feel better. Look how well that worked out for me.” He said with a bitter chuckle. 

“Michael, it’s fine. Believe me I understand how difficult this is. You have been one of my closest friends since I moved here and it hurts knowing that we lost that friendship. But it was too hard to be close to you in one way and not have you in the way that I wanted...” Gavin trailed off as he felt embarrassed for laying his emotions out so openly. While he knew it had to be said, it was uncharacteristic of him to be so vulnerable. 

“So I pulled away from you. Lindsay deserved to have the life you agreed to have with her. She didn’t deserve to have that all ripped away by me. What we had was nothing in comparison to what you have with her.” Gavin got up and started rinsing off his breakfast dishes before loading them in the dishwasher, mainly to give himself something to do while avoiding Michael’s eyes. 

“Gavin. This is what you still don’t get. What I have with Lindsay DOESN’T COMPARE TO HOW I FEEL ABOUT YOU. You’re a goddamned idiot if you haven’t discovered that yet. We haven’t had sex in months because Lindsay eventually just stopped trying. She knows that there is something wrong with me. Hell, she probably knew there was something up before we got married but here we are.” Michael was getting frantic and more worked up by the minute. His hands were in his hair, fighting for something to hold onto. 

“Look Michael. Like I said last night, it’s too late for this now. You’re married to Lindsay, I’m dating Meg. I’m sorry that you’re unhappy in your marriage but I can’t say the same. I love everything about Turney. I know that probably hurts and I’m sorry, but I had to make myself get over you Michael.” Gavin said, still avoiding eye contact and taking all the time in the world to load his plate, cutlery and mug into the dishwasher. 

He was so caught up in his task that he didn’t realise Michael had walked up behind him until he was pressed to Gavin’s back.

Michael started whispering into Gavin’s ear breathily. “Oh, okay Gavin. You’re in love with Meg. You couldn’t do this to Meg. Fine. That’s just great. But I stand by what I said last time. Meg is definitely sexy and I’m sure you have a lot of fun together, but I know she’s not as good as me. I know she can’t make you feel the way I did.” 

Michael wrapped his hands around Gavin’s hips under the bottom of his tee shirt and Gavin could feel his traitorous body react to the touch. Goosebumps started spreading outwards and he could feel heat blooming in the pit of his stomach. Gavin willed himself not to start getting hard. He practically slammed the dishwasher door shut and stood up to his full height, relishing in the way that Michael was just a bit shorter. 

Unfortunately that did not deter Michael at all. He slid his hands up Gavin’s chest, slowly caressing the hair until he reached his nipples, already hardened in anticipation. Gavin always enjoyed Michael’s attention to his nipples. Any of his girlfriends or one night stands had tended to avoid them, but Michael loved playing with them, biting them, sucking them until Gavin was a panting mess, his cock dripping and roaring red. 

Gavin cursed himself for thinking about that as he felt his cock give a jerk within his shorts. He would not get hard. He could not get hard. 

Michael slowly circled his finger round Gavin’s right nipple. The leisurely pace at which he did it was slowly driving Gavin insane. He wanted to push Michael away and moan for more. He was so conflicted. 

As always in their relationship, Michael made the choice for Gavin. Without any prior warning, he used his forefinger and thumb to start pulling and tweaking Gavin’s tightened nipple, causing Gavin to cry out in pleasure. 

“Fuck, baby. It’s been so long since I’ve heard you and it is so hot. Let me hear you Gav.” Michael sounded as wrecked as Gavin felt. He leant his head back on Michael’s shoulder and ground his ass a little against Michael’s crotch, just to see what was going on. He could feel Michael’s dick pressing against the zipper of his jeans and was pleased that he wasn’t the only one effected by what was going on. 

Michael groaned at the sensation and slid his left hand down to the front of Gavin’s jeans while still torturing Gavin’s nipple with his right hand. His poor right nipple was tender and sore at this point but Gavin had no intentions of telling Michael to stop. He felt alive in a way he hadn’t felt in a long time. 

He knew it was stupid and risky but in the moment he couldn’t bring himself to care. He turned his head towards Michael and started kissing and biting his neck and jaw. He needed something to do in order to stop himself from unravelling in this moment.

Gavin couldn’t believe that they were doing this and that Michael was actually allowing him to do this. Gavin felt like he could breathe for the first time in a year. 

Suddenly Michael’s phone started ringing, pulling Gavin out of his lust-fuelled haze. He pushed himself away from Michael violently and he walked towards the doorway of the kitchen. By the quiet groan Michael made after looking at his phone, it wasn’t exactly difficult to work out who was calling him.

“Michael, I think you should leave. It’s your anniversary and I’m sure Lindsay is missing you. I’m going to go for a walk, please don’t be here when I get back.” Gavin walked to the front door and slipped his feet into his rainbow converse. He hoped it was warm enough as he shut the door behind him in only his teeshirt and shorts. 

Gavin didn’t even have to think twice about where he was going. There was only one place he could go to take his mind off things. They would tell it to him straight but give him the right amount of coddling. 

He quietly let himself into the house and heard quiet voices in the kitchen. He slumped his way to the kitchen and sat down at the breakfast bar. 

“Aw Gav. What have you done this time?” Geoff asked with a deep sigh. 

 

Although he didn’t say it enough since moving out, Gavin was so grateful to have Geoff, Grif and Millie in his life. They really were his family in America and it made him feel less homesick, especially at times like these when he felt so shitty. 

Geoff led Gavin into his office/study/games room and sat down on the couch. He knew that this was a conversation that did not require an audience and that Gavin would want his privacy. 

“I fucked up Geoff. I let Michael get into my head again and I fucked up. He called me last night and he was completely wasted. Talking about how he missed me, missed us and wanted to talk. I know it was stupid but I just felt like I had to see him and talk to him.”

Geoff sighed and rubbed his hand through his hair and down his face. Geoff had seen the worst of Gavin’s sadness after the Jones wedding and knew how hard it had been for him. “Gav...you need to be careful here. Firstly with Lindsay who does not deserve this and secondly you don’t deserve this either. You said it yourself - he had a year to say these things to you and he didn’t. You’re happy now and in a good place. You shouldn’t let him back in your head if you’re happy.”

Gavin dropped his head between his shoulders. He couldn’t even bring himself to look at Geoff and see that look he was all too familiar with - sadness and pity. “I know Geoff. I know that it’s all too little too late. I know that I have a great life with Turney and I don’t want to lose her. But what if Geoff?” 

“What if what Gavin?” Gavin suddenly leapt up from his seat on the couch and began pacing, his hands running through his hair looking manic. 

“What if I make the wrong decision? What if I choose Meg and I lose out on my soulmate Geoff? I don’t know if I can take that risk.” 

Again, Geoff heaved a huge sigh and walked towards Gavin, stopping his pacing. He pulled this Brit to his chest and wrapped his arms around his shoulders. In his friend’s arms, Gavin completely broke down, his shoulders heaving forcibly with his sobs. “I don’t know what to do Geoff. I don’t know who to choose and I don’t know anything. I don’t think I even can make a decision. I’m so afraid Geoff.” 

“Okay, Gavin. You’re going to have to really think and consider your life with Meg verses your life with Michael. I don’t want to make your decision for you or sway you in any way, but you have to think that if you choose Michael, you’re going to break Meg and Lindsay’s hearts. You may not work with Meg anymore, but Lindsay will still work at Achievement Hunter for as long as she wants to. I will not get rid of her if you do this with Michael. I will be there for you and support you whatever your decision, but not at the detriment of Lindsay because she has never been anything but good to you.” 

Gavin knew that Geoff was right. Lindsay had always been nice to Gavin since she realised that he was only a dick for laughs. They’d been thick as thieves along with Michael and Meg when she came into their lives since. “I know Geoff. I know that this will potentially fuck up 4 lives and could screw up your company. I get that and I really don’t want that to happen. I love Meg, Lindsay and everyone else too much of that. But do I just ignore my chance and love and happiness? I’m so confused. I think I need to leave for a bit, Geoff. Get out of here and clear my head for a few weeks.”

Geoff rubbed his hand up and down Gavin’s arms in a comforting gesture. “If you think that’s best Gavin you need to do it. Maybe fly home for a bit, talk to Dan and your family. Get away from this drama and you may be able to finally think clearly about it.” 

Gavin nodded but said nothing else. He slid his phone out of his pocket and opened up the British Airways app and booked himself a ticket from Dallas to London for the next morning. He booked a one-way flight in order to give him the freedom to come back to Austin when he was ready. 

Maybe Geoff was right. A few days or weeks to clear his head while in England and away from everyone could be just what he needed. He hoped so anyway. 

Gavin shot off a quick text to Dan explaining that he would be coming to England for a while and asked if he could stay in Dan’s spare room. After Dan agreed that he could stay, he text Meg and asked her to call him as soon as possible. He didn’t want her to worry, but he also didn’t want to tell her he was going to England for unexpected stay over text. 

He told Geoff he was flying back to England the next day and apologised for the issues it would inevitably cause at work. “Gavin, we have enough content recorded already to keep us going without you. I’d rather you were mentally in a better place than all the Gavin Free content in the world. You’re more important to me than what you bring to Achievement Hunter.” Geoff and Gavin had another long hug before Gavin advised he was going home to pack.


End file.
